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How Would Jesus Brew? A Biblical Case for the Pour Over

Earlier today Jesse Carey published an article for Relevant Magazine titled "What Your Coffee Says About Your Theology". It gives a breakdown of how the Mocha Frappe is indicative of the prosperity Gospel and s̶u̶b̶t̶l̶y̶ suggests that anything decaffeinated is a definitive sign of heresy.

Unfortunately, Jesse failed to mention the most notable coffee brewing method of them all: the pour over. Now, I'm a big proponent of grace and forgiveness (what good Christian isn't?), so I will cut Relevant some slack and continue to subscribe to their publication despite this dreadful error.

Still, I am compelled to take it upon myself to make the most Biblical case I can for the illustrious pour over. Someone has to do it.

The question at hand is this: How would Jesus brew? Or, more specifically, how would God brew? 

I believe a clear reading of scripture provides us with the answer. Take special note of the verbiage that God specifically uses in Act 2:17: 

"In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your young men will see visions, your old men will dream dreams." (Emphasis my own.)

Amazing. We've only read one Bible verse and already we are beginning to see a pattern. Of course God would make a pour-over; he pours out his very Spirit upon his people! No other coffee brewing method in existence can evoke the movement of the Holy Spirit itself. 

Still not convinced? Allow me to direct your attention to Isaiah 44:3: 

"For I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground; I will pour my Spirit upon your offspring, and my blessing on your descendants." (Again, emphasis my own.) 

As you can see, once again we have God using "pouring" language to communicate the power and movement of the Holy Spirit. What makes this passage especially note-worthy is the reference to "streams on the dry ground". Here, dry ground is compared to God's chosen people, and it's not that much of a mental jump to make the connection to dry coffee grounds awaiting the hot stream of water.  

Some may be quick to point out that Isaiah 44:3 does not say "pour over", but rather "pour upon". I anticipated this critique, and I welcome it. After all, no defense of scripture is complete without a reference to the true meaning of the Hebrew or Greek word in question. The Hebrew word for "upon" here is עַל (al), and it occurs numerous times throughout the Old Testament. You may be surprised to find out that it is translated as "over" exactly 538 times! Need I say more?

The Pour Over is the most Christian coffee brewing method around. Not only does it produce the finest brew, but it also serves as a continual reminder of how God pours over his spirit upon you and I. 

So, in closing, I must exhort you dear brothers, sisters, and coffee lovers in Christ: 

"Do not quench the Spirit." (1 Thessalonians 5:19)

Let me know in the comments whether you agree or not with my interpretation. I will gladly read all of your responses, but I shall inevitably judge those who deviate from my message.